BSN EDITORIAL: I HAVE VERY STRONG OPINIONS ABOUT WHATEVER IT IS WE ARE DISCUSSING
Hi! I hope you don't think I'm butting in. I just overheard you talking, and I thought that I should join in because I have very strong feelings about whatever it is we are discussing. I realize that I missed the beginning of this conversation, but don't worry, I'll catch up.
Are we talking about politics? Because I watched this debate the other night, and I cannot wait to tell you what I thought of it. I mean, did you see that one guy? With the hair thing? And the tie? What was that!? Seriously! No? Not politics? That's okay, I'm sure that I have a few insightful comments I can enlighten you all with on whatever the topic might be.
Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just can't hold my tongue any longer. I mean, that has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You don't really believe that, do you? Seriously? Well, I don't know, but if it were up to me I think you should just find a new religion, because that's pretty stupid. Besides, I think we should talk about something else because this is boring anyway.
Like, for example, I found this super cool new hair spray that promises not to make your bathroom floor all sticky. Don't you just hate it when you get out of the shower and your feet stick to the floor? Not to mention the hairs that just stay there and never move, even when you sweep. Am I supposed to get down on my hands and knees and scrub the floor for hairs or something? Not gonna happen.
Also, I saw that guy with the beard on TV last weekend, and it turns out there's this awesome new cutting thing that can make french fries. Can you believe it! He said it was not available in stores, so I ordered it over the phone even though I wouldn't normally do something like that. I did see something kind of similar to it in a store the other day, but I'm sure it must have been different in some way, because that beard guy seems very trustworthy.
Anyway, I also heard that... hey! Where are you guys off to? Just freshening up your drinks? That's cool, I need to get some more punch anyway. Not that this punch is really very good. It's kind of watery. But... guys? I don't think the punch bowl is over that way...
2 comments:
Nobody cares about your arrogant self-fulfilling ass. You think that you have something significant to say about the world and the happenings around it, but clearly by the previous "blog" you are neither funny nor compelling. You give the sorry state of affairs that is blogs a bad name. I am not a "blogger" and I don't find any of your postings funny or insightful. Just stop...for the sake of humanity.
Thank you for stopping by. I sincerely appreciate the fact that you took time out from your obviously busy schedule to write in about not enjoying a website on the Internet. I hope that you continue on your crusade to rid the web of sites you do not find to your liking. Please stop back and let me know how it went in five billion years.
I'm sorry that you do not find this site either "funny" or "insightful," although if it makes you feel better you should know that your comment certainly scores highly with me in both regards. I am working diligently to upgrade the quality of this site to match the level of your comment, but unfortunately monkeys are expensive and finicky to deal with. Most days they simply won't even look at their typewriters, and when they do it is generally to perform acts I don't feel appropriate to mention here. Nonetheless, I am currently expecting a shipment from Brazil that I am told have turned out excellent work in the past.
Rest assured, I do keep a file of comments, e-mails, and other mentions regarding whether or not people find me funny, and yours will be placed diligently in the appropriate box. I will make sure to dust it off first. Mrs. Hoffman, my third grade teacher, will be so pleased to know that her comment regarding my behavior during recess is no longer so sad and lonely in the "Not Funny" box. Still, I won't lie to you- conditions are pretty cold and harsh there in the shadow of the other stack.
Good luck to you in your endeavour. If you happen to see that Dane Cook has a website, please make sure to mention that I don't think he's funny either. Thanks in advance.
Best,
James
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